James the Turkey

James the Turkey

By Tato Smith

Once upon a time there was a turkey named James. He was a “hand turkey.” None of the other turkeys were like him. They made fun of him a lot and it made James angry. James thought he was a cool turkey.


James was a smart turkey. He knew that it was almost Thanksgiving. The other turkeys did not know. They weren’t very bright. Except for some of them had nice, pretty, bright feathers….so maybe they were bright. Just not bright in the head. Unless they had bright feathers on their head. Well, they just weren’t very smart.

But James knew this, so he was going to get back at them for making fun of him.

So one day James said to one of the other turkeys, “See that man other there? He wants to feed you yummy food.” So the turkey was all like, “GOBBLE GOBBLE!” and ran over to the man as fast as he could. The next thing he knew was Bang! James was happy. ‘One down he thought.’


The other turkeys saw what happened and were slightly disturbed by it. ‘Why was James happy the other turkey went bang?’ they thought.

James knew the men would be hiding everywhere waiting to get another turkey. So the next time he was with one of the other turkeys, he kicked him out into the open where the men could see it. That turkey went bang! too. James was delighted. “Two down..’


The other turkeys were getting confused. So they decided to ask James why he was always smiling when the others went bang, was going bang a good thing? James realized this was his chance to get rid of them all. So he said, “Yes, going bang is a VERY good thing.” The other turkeys being as stupid as they were, believed him. So they all ran out into the open so they could go bang too! And there were lots of bangs. James’ plan had worked. The other turkeys were all gone. Only he was left. He was happy, but a little lonely. He was still glad they were gone though.

Lots of bangs!

But one day while walking around, James saw something. He ran to see what it was. It was another hand turkey just like him!! Only this one was a girl!

James made her his and they made a family of hand turkeys and repopulated the earth with hand turkeys.




  1. Hmmm I wonder if hand turkeys taste as good as regular turkeys…

  2. Hand turkeys are cooler anyway!!!!
    Heehee stupid turkeys…

  3. Yeah, that was mildly awesome 😀

    . . . a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. . .

    a Turkey in the shape of a hand is worth an entire flock of turkies that went bang.

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