March, 2011


25
Mar 11

Mashed Potatoes

Once there was a big bowl of mashed potatoes. They were super yummy mashed potatoes because the girl had made them and she was a good cook. The potatoes were happy because it was a nice Friday evening, they were warm and the people were enjoying the crap outta them. They, were super yummy potatoes.

But the people got too full to eat them all and had to put the rest of the super yummy mashed potatoes in a GladWare container in the refrigerator.  This made the potatoes sad, but they reassured themselves that the people loved them and would soon be back to warm them up and enjoy some more of their delectibleness. The potatoes waited.

But the people began eating out at restaurants and soon forgot about the super yummy mashed potatoes in the GladWare container in the back of the refrigerator. The potatoes waited and waited for days and days. They started to become angry. ‘Why haven’t the people come back to endulge in more of our tastinesses?!’ Thought the potatoes. ‘Are we not good enough for them anymore?!’ The potatoes wanted to plan their revenge and get back at the people for abandoning them in the cold, dark refrigerator. ‘But what can we do from inside this GladeWare container in the back of the refrigerator? ‘ they wondered. They schemed.

After scheming for quite some time, the potatoes came up with a plan. It was pretty much the only thing they could do, being trapped in the GladWare container and all. They decided they would become so repulsive,  so stinky that when the people finally remembered them again and opened the GladWare container, their putrid stench and hideous appearance would burn the nose hairs right outta the people noses and make them want to puke. So this is what they did. The potatoes strained with all their might, and after a few days of strenuous labor, the potatoes sprouted some lovely, fuzzy hair and managed to change color. The potatoes were proud. They sat there a few more days to become more stinky and let their hair grow out. Finally, they were ready.

The day finally came when the girl remembered the super yummy mashed potatoes that were still in the back of the refrigerator. She opened the door and reached for the GladWare container of mashed potatoes.  The potatoes chuckled an evil chuckle to themselves. It was finally time for payback. The girl looked through the clear GladWare container and saw that the potatoes where yucky. She decided not to open the container. Based in the physical appearance of the once super yummy mashed potatoes, she came to the conclusion that they probably wouldn’t smell very good. So the girl chucked the whole GladWare container into the trash can, “Don’t get mad, get Glad!” The girl muttered to herself as she walked away.