By Tato Smith

One time there was a squirrel, a brown poofy tailed squirrel named Chippy. Chippy was a pretty nice squirrel, he just had some quirks. But his main problem was that he liked to hump things. He humped pretty much anything and everything he saw. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t control it.

So one day Chippy was out searching for nuts to eat. He came across a rock nearly the same size as him. ‘What a nice rock,’ he thought. And shortly after he found himself humping the poor, innocent rock. Once he realized what he was doing, he jumped back off the rock. He felt terrible and apologized to the rock.

eh eh

So Chippy went on his way looking for food. He then found himself next to a black bird. ‘What a lovely bird,’ he thought. And then began to hump the poor black bird. The bird got angry and bit Chippy’s toe, like birds do. Chippy felt awful and apologized to the bird. But the bird just flew away angrily.


Chippy continued to shop for food at the park. He was going to try his hardest this time not to hump anything. But in a short while, he found himself next to a guy sitting on a park bench. Chippy saw the man’s leg and couldn’t contain himself. About 2 seconds later, when the man realized what was happening to his leg, Chippy found himself airborne. He was like, ‘Whooooooooa!’ Then he landed in a trash can nearby.


He couldn’t believe that man has just kicked him, how rude. He picked himself up and continued. ‘This day had turned out horrible,’ he thought. He decided to go to the woods and look. He saw a kind of animal he had never seen before. He tried to keep himself back, but it didn’t work for long. He threw himself at the strange animal, and soon pain filled almost his whole body.


He threw himself back and was like, ‘What the poop was that thing?!’ He hurt really bad and had porcupine needles all over him. He pulled them out and decided to end the day and go home and sleep. He still hadn’t even found any nuts yet. He would have to try again tomorrow and this time stay off of things. The end.



  1. poor squirrel never got his nuts :-(

  2. aaw! that’s so sad!!! poor squirrel. no nuts for him!

  3. I think poor squirrel needs a gurlfriend!

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