By Tato Smith

Once there was a toad named Gerald.  He lived in a pond full of frogs and he was the only toad.  Everyone knows frogs and toads don’t get along, they’re like Crypts and Bloods and were constantly fighting.  Gerald felt a little out numbered so he decided to leave.  He didn’t know where to go so he just headed West towards the wooded area about 2.4 miles away.

About 3 minutes into the trip he started feeling crunchy and a little dried out.  He then realized that deciding to move away from the pond on such a hot summer day may have been his worst idea thus far.  But he couldn’t turn back now, he’d come too far.  He just hoped there was water ahead soon.

About a minute later he had still found no water.  He did manage to make it to the trees so the shade helped some but he was still too crispy and needed water fast.  He took a short break and then continued on his quest.  Approximately 47 seconds later he spotted a small puddle about 5 paces to the North.  He hoped it was water and rushed over.

When he got there he found that it was not water but in fact squirrel urine.  He was greatly unhappy about this but it was quite possibly the only liquid around for miles.  So without further ado, he hopped in and rolled around.  It was unpleasant and burned his crunchy, dried out toad skin.  It didn’t smell the greatest either.

He jumped out and moved on.  He traveled for days without finding water and had to continue staying moist with other animal’s pee pee.  But on the fifth day he finally found and quiet little quaint pond.  He soon found that there were no frogs at the pond but there were no toads either.  There were, however, snakes.  They soon discovered him and ate him.  He should have stayed with the frogs.

The End.

By Tato Smith

There was once a girl named Janice who had a strange fear.  She was afraid to tell anyone of this fear because it was so outrageously stupid and ridiculous.  People would laugh at her and think she was insane if they knew.  So she tried to keep her fear of using the toilet in the dark to herself.  She was afraid that when she got up at night to use the bathroom that snakes would come up through the toilet and bite her bum.  You see, she saw it on TV one time that snakes could do that.

Almost every night she would get up in the dark to go to the restroom.  I think she must have had an over-active bladder or something.  She would sit down on the toilet and then get really anxious and worried and almost die of a panic attack because she wanted to jump up before the snakes could get her but couldn’t because she was still peeing.

Time went by and she was always so worried about this.  It got to the point that she couldn’t stand it anymore.  She had to tell someone!  So the next day she told her most dearest friend who she thought she could trust.  Her friend thought she was joking at first but then realized that she was super cereal.  She laughed at Janice and made fun of her.  Janice felt terrible and was extremely embarrassed.

It wasn’t long before all of Janice’s friends had heard about her silly phobia.  And of course, they all made it a point to make fun of her and laugh at her.  Janice was sad and felt like she didn’t have any friends.  They had all been so mean to her.  She decided to just stay home and never come out again.

That night when Janice got up to go pee something happened.  She sat down to pee, like always, but this time something stirred.  She heard it but it was too late to get up. Then she felt it! It was a bite!  She screamed and jumped up and had to pull the snake off of her bum.  She didn’t know what to do with it so she stomped it and then put it in a box to show everyone.  She was going to flush it down the toilet but then no one would believe her story.

She showed everyone the box with the stomped snake in it the next day.  They didn’t really believe her so she had to show them the bite on her bum too.  They were all embarrassed and from then on they too were afraid to use the toilet without looking in it first.

The End.

By Tato Smith

Once upon a time, there was a ghost name Tammy.  Tammy was getting ready to have a baby ghost and she was sooo excited she was going to have a little terror to help scare people.  She had big plans for all the scary things that they would do together and couldn’t wait for him to arrive.  She would name him Jasper.

The day finally came for the baby ghost to arrive.  Tammy was super excited. But when he was born, she was less than thrilled.  The doctor told her that he was retarded.  Tammy was all like “NOOOOOO! Now he wont be scary!”  Tammy was so sad and disappointed.  But Halloween was near and she didn’t have time to find or make a replacement scary ghost so Jasper would have to do.

Halloween came before Tammy knew it.  She had been working with Jasper to try to teach him to scare people and to make scary noises.  She found that it was impossible for him to say, “Boo!” or anything like it.  The only sound he made was, “EeeuuuuUUUUHH!”  It ultimately wasn’t very scary but would have to do.  It was time for his first scare! Some unsuspecting people were walking by and Tammy shoved Jasper out from behind a bush to scare them.  He did his best but it was still the terrible, “EeeuuuUUUUH!” sound.  The people stopped, and laughed at him.  This is not what Tammy had hoped for.

Tammy was sooo embarrassed and so was Jasper, they laughed at him.  They went on and tried scaring more people, but it didn’t work, everyone laughed.  Jasper was sad and Tammy noticed.  She didn’t want him to keep getting his feelings hurt every time he got laughed at.

So Tammy decided on the next scare she would make scary noises from behind the bush so Japser thought it was him that was being scary to make him feel better.  It worked! The people were scared and Jasper was pleased and so was Tammy.  They did this routine the rest of the night.  Jasper was very happy with himself and in the next year Tammy trained him to be scary so he could do it on his own next Halloween.

The End.

]]> http://tatostories.com/2008/10/jasper-the-retarded-ghost/feed 5 http://tatostories.com/2008/09/roberts-voyage http://tatostories.com/2008/09/roberts-voyage#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:59:51 +0000 admin http://tatostories.com/?p=173 Robert’s Voyage

By Tato Smith

Once upon a time, somewhere where it’s very cold and there’s lots of snow, there lived a walrus.  His name was Robert.  Robert was usually a friendly walrus.  His hobbies were riding his tricycle, (he couldn’t ride a bicycle cuz he was too big and heavy and needed more support) ice fishing and knitting.

Robert lived in an igloo thing.  He had never lived in an igloo before, he used to live in a hole in the ground.  It was pretty cold outside and Robert felt like having soup.  So he proceeded to make a can of Campbell’s  Chicken Noodle Soup on the stove.  After a few minutes of his soup cooking he noticed that his house was slowing getting smaller.  He didn’t know what was going on.  Pretty soon all that was left was Robert, the stove and a big puddle.  His igloo house had melted.  He wondered why there was a stove in an ice house. But at least he had soup. So he ate his soup and went searching for a new home.

Robert wondered why everything bad always happened to him.  Just a week earlier his girlfriend left him for a walrus with only one tusk! Anyways, Robert searched and searched for a new home.  His realtor really wasn’t much help.  So Robert fired him.  He decided he would just build a raft and sail out to see where he would end up.

For forty days and for forty nights he sailed.  Finally he reached land.  This land was not like his old land.  It was hot here and there were funny trees and sand.  This is not what he had in mind.  This was too hot for him.  But he decided to stay.  He built a small house out of wood.  But he was soooo hot in his house, he had never sweated before.

He roasted in the heat for weeks and weeks. He was about to set sail to find somewhere cooler to live.  But then he found something that had washed up on the shore.  He wasn’t too sure what it was.  He took a closer look and it seemed to be some kind of air condoning window unit. ‘I have a window!’ he thought.  So he went and hooked it up.  It actually worked too!  So after a hard days work of planting his garden, he went inside and sat in front of the nice cold air conditioner. Life was good.

The End.

By Tato Smith

Once upon a time there was a Pear named Sam.  Yep, a pear.  He lived a community just for fruits to live in.  But Sam Pear was the only one of his kind.  There were no other pears living in the complex.  All the other fruits hassled him about it.  They would say mean things like, "Hey Pear, where’s your pair?!" Because pear and pair sound the same.. aahaa, funny! But Sam didn’t really find it funny.  Poor Sam Pear.

The Bananas were the worst, as Bananas usually are.  They always made such a big deal of it.  The Kiwis were pretty bad too.  They thought they were pretty cool. (They are really)  But still, it was no reason to taunt.  One day while Sam Pear was working out on the treadmill in the gym, the Bananas and Kiwis were scheming.  They decided to steal some juice from Tony Lime and squirt it into the treadmill.  The treadmill couldn’t handle Tony Lime’s juice and went crazy.  It started going super super fast and Sam Pear couldn’t keep up so he went flying off the back and into the wall.  Poor Sam Pear.

Sam Pear was hurt and embarrassed.  He lost a little juice on that one. He knew it had to of been the Bananas and Kiwis.  They were always pulling pranks like that on him.  He wished there was some way to get back at them.    He couldn’t do it alone though, he would need an accomplice.  But he knew none of the other fruits at the fruit living community would care to help him.  Perhaps a vegetable would help him.

The first thing Sam did when he got back to his room was call up the Vegetable Living Community across the street. It took a while and he had to talk to a couple very grouchy zucchinis , but eventually he found a carrot willing to help.  Sam was excited!  So Sam Pear and Joe Carrot met to devise a plan.  They thought and thought and finally came up with something.

They decided they would look up the Banana’s and Kiwi’s moms up on the phone.  (Yeah. They thought forever and it’s the best they could come up with.) Their mommy’s were shocked and quite upset when they heard about their son’s behavior.  They decided they would come down to the Fruit Living Community right away to spank them and get them in line.  And so it was. Sam Pear had no further troubles from any of the other fruits again.

The End.

By Tato Smith

There was once a guy known as, “Skippy.” He was the best professional golf cart racer around, everyone knew him. He was just one race away from winning the trophy, he had to win this next race! So he was busy training and getting ready for the big race because you have to be in the best of shape to race golf carts.

It was finally the day of the big race. Skippy was really excited. He just knew that trophy would be his. So right when they said, “GO!” Skippy hit the gas. The fans were going wild. (Cuz golf cart races are really exciting, like better than Nascar) Skippy was doing pretty well, only one cart was ahead of him and Skippy was gaining on him. He had a really nice golf cart, it went about 15 mph when most the others only went about 12.

Skippy had just passed the cart in front of him! But a guy in the stands must of had his money on that cart because he got pretty upset at Skippy for passing him. So he decided it would be a good idea to throw the fried turkey leg thing that he was eating at Skippy’s cart. He missed his cart but it landed in front of it and Skippy’s cart ran over it. Well kind of, the cart wouldn’t roll over it so it got stuck and everyone passed Skippy and he lost the race.

Skippy was so upset! He went up to the stands and grabbed the idiot that threw the turkey leg thing and drug him down to the track. He was like, “What the poop you throw that poopin’ poultry leg down ‘ere for?! Now I won’t get my golf cart championship trophy!” and started to beat the guy with the turkey leg thing.

This of course infuriated the rest of the fans. They had to pull Skippy off of the idiot who threw the turkey leg thing. Everyone who once liked Skippy didn’t like him anymore. Skippy was in big trouble for beating a fan with a turkey leg thing. They banned him from ever racing golf carts again and Skippy was sad.

The End.

By Tato Smith

One time there was this girl. She was hungry so she decided to put some soup in the microwave. So this is what she did. But once she pushed the cook button she felt a weird sensation go through her body. She was confused as to what it was but she didn’t think too much of it.

When the microwaved beeped, she opened the door and noticed she had accidentally microwaved her spoon too! She was surprised that the microwave didn’t catch on fire or something. It was just fine. The toaster however, did blow up the next time she tried to make toast. ‘How strange,’ she thought.

The girl didn’t think anything else of the spoon incident after that. Everything else appeared to be fine. But then she noticed the mice that lived under the kitchen cabinet were acting a little funny. Some of them ran straight into the wall and died. But others seemed to be glowing in bright neon colors.

The girl was confused! She didn’t know what to do. She was supposed to have her friends over that night for a wild party. She couldn’t let them see that she had glowing mice running around everywhere! They would think she was weird and gross and wouldn’t like her anymore.

There was no time for her to do anything about it. Her friends would be there any minute! Once they all got there she didn’t see any sign of the glowing mice. But then a little later they started coming out. She hoped no one would see them. Being glowing mice, they were kinda hard to miss and soon noticed by everyone. The girl was so embarrassed! But her friends thought they were great! They decided to catch them and have a rave using the glowing mice as glow sticks. So the girl was cool and everyone liked her and her glowing rodents.

The End.

By Tato Smith

One Christmas, a family decided to put up their first Christmas tree together. But this being their first Christmas tree, they didn’t have any pretty ornaments, lights or anything to put on it. They wanted to buy some but they were real poor like. But they thought they would set one up anyways without anything on it. They didn’t think it would be a problem. But they didn’t know trees have feelings too. So there he sat next to the window, bare and naked.

He would sit there all day and night looking out the window. He was content and happy…until one night he saw the other pretty Christmas trees sitting by windows in the neighbors houses. They all had pretty lights and other things on them. He wanted to have pretty twinkling lights too. This made him sad. But what made it worse was the other trees saw him and mocked him. They twinkled their little lights even brighter right in front of him.

All the other trees also had lots and lots of pretty boxes and presents wrapped up underneath them. He knew he wouldn’t have any of those either. The poor tree was starting to become a very depressed little Christmas tree. He would stare at the other trees all day and wish one day he could look just like that. The other trees also made fun of him for being a fake tree. They were all real and had pretty pine needles. He didn’t even know what he was made of, some kind of plastic or something. He didn’t want to be up anymore. He wanted to go back downstairs in his box and never come out.

Finally it was Christmas. All the other trees got to enjoy quality time with their families. But poor tree didn’t. He just got to watch all the others and cry. At least it was just about over with and he could go back downstairs soon. But the people were not home to take him down. So there he sat til a couple days after Christmas. He looked out the window one last time and what he saw made him happy. All the other trees had been stripped of their pretty lights and ornaments and thrown out by the street, left for dead.

At least he knew that would never happen to him because he was a fake tree. And he knew he’d get to be back up next year and that he would have lots of pretties to wear then. And he’d even have some presents underneath then too! He was happy and wouldn’t have to be put away being all depressed.
The end.

By Tato Smith

Once upon a time there was a turkey named James. He was a “hand turkey.” None of the other turkeys were like him. They made fun of him a lot and it made James angry. James thought he was a cool turkey.

James was a smart turkey. He knew that it was almost Thanksgiving. The other turkeys did not know. They weren’t very bright. Except for some of them had nice, pretty, bright feathers….so maybe they were bright. Just not bright in the head. Unless they had bright feathers on their head. Well, they just weren’t very smart.

But James knew this, so he was going to get back at them for making fun of him.

So one day James said to one of the other turkeys, “See that man other there? He wants to feed you yummy food.” So the turkey was all like, “GOBBLE GOBBLE!” and ran over to the man as fast as he could. The next thing he knew was Bang! James was happy. ‘One down he thought.’

The other turkeys saw what happened and were slightly disturbed by it. ‘Why was James happy the other turkey went bang?’ they thought.

James knew the men would be hiding everywhere waiting to get another turkey. So the next time he was with one of the other turkeys, he kicked him out into the open where the men could see it. That turkey went bang! too. James was delighted. “Two down..’

The other turkeys were getting confused. So they decided to ask James why he was always smiling when the others went bang, was going bang a good thing? James realized this was his chance to get rid of them all. So he said, “Yes, going bang is a VERY good thing.” The other turkeys being as stupid as they were, believed him. So they all ran out into the open so they could go bang too! And there were lots of bangs. James’ plan had worked. The other turkeys were all gone. Only he was left. He was happy, but a little lonely. He was still glad they were gone though.

But one day while walking around, James saw something. He ran to see what it was. It was another hand turkey just like him!! Only this one was a girl!

James made her his and they made a family of hand turkeys and repopulated the earth with hand turkeys.

THE END